SORRY
At the beginning of 2017, I started writing about forgiveness, up till this very day, the article is still a “work in progress”. What prompted me to write about something I would not finish still baffles me, it is still my longest unfinished work. Just a month and few days before I started writing forgiveness, someone who was a great part of me did something really bad, something I wouldn’t have done to anyone, even my greatest enemy. I told myself I’ve forgiven the person but at the same time I did not really want to have anything to do with the person again. Maybe that was really the cause of my “forgiveness” woe.
One bizarre fact about me is that I am a kind of guy that doesn’t really show his emotion, I am the type that would smile through hardship, failure and other bad stuffs, crying isn’t just for me, nay. I would rather smile a damning smile than allow people to start asking questions or start consoling m, but there had been two occasions where I couldn’t fight it and both were a result of friends’ actions.
Now, let me take you down to the first time, it was probably August or September 2012, and someone who was really more than a friend hurt me, cried it over and then it was over, we stopped talking to each other for few months and then I went home and there he was and slowly but eventually we started talking again. The truth is I did forgave him, and we are still good friends but I think we could have been better if only he had apologise for his action, if only he had said “sorry”.
The second time was the one I first mentioned at the beginning of this article. This particular friend was one of the closest at the time. I cried while even walking on the road, not because of what the person did but because of who she was, I guess the tears were not because I was hurt but because I was disappointed, then I realised it wasn’t worth it. I forgave her and distanced myself from her. Anyways, the person is still a friend but we could have been like before or even better if she had let go of her ‘ego’, pick up her phone and say SORRY (even a month after would still be good) but she categorically stated that she was never wrong, not then, not now, not in the next ten (10) years and she would never apologise for not doing wrong.
Few days after I started writing this, I saw an Instagram post by Olayode Juliana asking if one would prefer sorry (an apology) or gifts from anyone who offend us. Gifts are good, but it would never replace or buy sorry. If one realises what he/she did is/was wrong, buying gift is not the next step.
Saying sorry is telling the person you were wrong and you are remorseful of your action(s), and it’s the first step to recovery and reconciliation, but saying sorry isn’t the end of it all, it is the beginning, the assurance that you are not going to do the same wrongdoing again, because there’s no point saying sorry when you keep doing the same wrong over and over again.
If you want to restore your dignity, you need to take action. Making amends requires much more than saying "I'm sorry". It means learning to change. The apology is just the first step. The most important thing is that you display honesty, courage and compassion when you extend your apologies. You need to earn your forgiveness.
Somebody once told me, the most powerful sentence is not I love you, it’s thank you and I’m sorry. So beside trying to get things back to normal, or trying to reconcile, saying sorry is also a means of letting go of your ego and moving ahead of you, giving yourself the inner peace you deserved. While saying sorry might not bring food to the table, it sure helps you enjoy the food. It’s rising above yourself, it’s stepping up, it’s moving up and it’s going up.
So, make it a job today and say sorry to all those who deserve it from you. And make sure you cultivate the habit of saying sorry
AUF WIEDERSEHEN
OLANIYI ADEWALE HEPHZIBAH.
One bizarre fact about me is that I am a kind of guy that doesn’t really show his emotion, I am the type that would smile through hardship, failure and other bad stuffs, crying isn’t just for me, nay. I would rather smile a damning smile than allow people to start asking questions or start consoling m, but there had been two occasions where I couldn’t fight it and both were a result of friends’ actions.
Now, let me take you down to the first time, it was probably August or September 2012, and someone who was really more than a friend hurt me, cried it over and then it was over, we stopped talking to each other for few months and then I went home and there he was and slowly but eventually we started talking again. The truth is I did forgave him, and we are still good friends but I think we could have been better if only he had apologise for his action, if only he had said “sorry”.
The second time was the one I first mentioned at the beginning of this article. This particular friend was one of the closest at the time. I cried while even walking on the road, not because of what the person did but because of who she was, I guess the tears were not because I was hurt but because I was disappointed, then I realised it wasn’t worth it. I forgave her and distanced myself from her. Anyways, the person is still a friend but we could have been like before or even better if she had let go of her ‘ego’, pick up her phone and say SORRY (even a month after would still be good) but she categorically stated that she was never wrong, not then, not now, not in the next ten (10) years and she would never apologise for not doing wrong.
Few days after I started writing this, I saw an Instagram post by Olayode Juliana asking if one would prefer sorry (an apology) or gifts from anyone who offend us. Gifts are good, but it would never replace or buy sorry. If one realises what he/she did is/was wrong, buying gift is not the next step.
Saying sorry is telling the person you were wrong and you are remorseful of your action(s), and it’s the first step to recovery and reconciliation, but saying sorry isn’t the end of it all, it is the beginning, the assurance that you are not going to do the same wrongdoing again, because there’s no point saying sorry when you keep doing the same wrong over and over again.
If you want to restore your dignity, you need to take action. Making amends requires much more than saying "I'm sorry". It means learning to change. The apology is just the first step. The most important thing is that you display honesty, courage and compassion when you extend your apologies. You need to earn your forgiveness.
Somebody once told me, the most powerful sentence is not I love you, it’s thank you and I’m sorry. So beside trying to get things back to normal, or trying to reconcile, saying sorry is also a means of letting go of your ego and moving ahead of you, giving yourself the inner peace you deserved. While saying sorry might not bring food to the table, it sure helps you enjoy the food. It’s rising above yourself, it’s stepping up, it’s moving up and it’s going up.
So, make it a job today and say sorry to all those who deserve it from you. And make sure you cultivate the habit of saying sorry
AUF WIEDERSEHEN
OLANIYI ADEWALE HEPHZIBAH.
What a good write up, if everyone can cultivate the attitude of saying sorry and letting go of our ego, we will all have a smooth and better relationship. God bless you bro, keep this up
ReplyDeleteGreat write up.. ever since i started saying sorry when necessary ,i get this inner peace from within towards concerned people unlike before.
ReplyDeleteFinally, I got to read it. Wonderful piece.
ReplyDeleteLet me use this medium to say SORRY if I have ever wronged you without knowing.